| Statistic | PB |
| Achievements | 12/50 (24%) |
| Armor | 23 |
| Chinpokomon | 19/30 (63.3333333%) |
| Equipment | 51/103 (49.5145631%) |
| Friends | 54 |
| HP | 4,445 |
| Level | 13 |
| Net Worth | $126.25 |
| PP | 24 |
| Junk/Consumables | PB |
| "Fatty Doo Doo" DVD | 1 |
| "Gazunga's" Gentleman's Magazine | 1 |
| "What Are These Changes?" VHS | 1 |
| "What Happened To My School?" | 4 |
| Afghani Goat | 1 |
| AIDS | 1 |
| Alabama Man | 3 |
| Antonio Banderas Love Doll | 1 |
| Armband | 21 |
| Asses of Fire 2 poster | 1 |
| Baby Fark McGee-zax's Broken Pistol | 1 |
| Barry Bonds Bat | 1 |
| Baseball Card | 36 |
| Bass Guitar | 1 |
| Battered Shield | 1 |
| BFF Necklace | 1 |
| Big Mamba Condoms | 1 |
| Biggest Douche Award | 1 |
| Bindle | 6 |
| Black Thunder | 1 |
| Bottle Cap | 64 |
| Bottle of Sunscreen | 7 |
| Bowling Trophey | 1 |
| Brad Pitt Survival Gear Kit | 1 |
| Broken Bottle | 6 |
| Broken Sword Hilt | 36 |
| Bruce Vilanch Headshot | 1 |
| Butters' Creamy Goo | 1 |
| Cafeteria Fraiche | 1 |
| Calculator | 4 |
| Canadian Adoption Papers | 1 |
| Cardboard Roll | 31 |
| Ceramic Shard | 65 |
| Charm Bracelet | 1 |
| Cherokee Hair Tampon | 3 |
| Chicken Bones | 40 |
| Cloth Fragment | 15 |
| Cog on a Spring | 22 |
| Coon Poster | 1 |
| Crack Pipe | 1 |
| Crank Prank Time Phone | 1 |
| Crumpled Lantern | 5 |
| Crumpled Paper | 77 |
| Cure Potion | 10 |
| Cyborg Bill Action Figure | 1 |
| Destroyed Lazer Pistol | 5 |
| DMV Literature | 1 |
| Dreidel | 1 |
| Elf Ear | 35 |
| Empty Glue Bottle | 4 |
| Faith +1 CD | 1 |
| Fish Sticks | 2 |
| Fork | 7 |
| Fractured Bulb | 52 |
| Fractured Slingshot | 2 |
| Girls' List | 1 |
| Glass Shard | 71 |
| Glowing Crystal Fragment | 14 |
| Glowing Goo | 15 |
| GSM Button | 4 |
| Guinea Pig Costume | 1 |
| Hawaiian ID Card | 1 |
| Head of the Powell Statue | 1 |
| Health Potion (Large) | 2 |
| Health Potion (Small) | 29 |
| Highlighter | 8 |
| Ice Cream | 4 |
| Ike's Chewing Tabacco | 1 |
| Ike's Love Drawing | 1 |
| Inspector Butters Badge | 1 |
| Jack Rabbit | 1 |
| Jew Scout Guide | 1 |
| Lice | 2 |
| Lil' Crime Stopper Badges | 1 |
| Lil' Minis Condoms | 1 |
| Lion King DVD | 1 |
| Macaroni Pictures | 1 |
| Mahalo Rewards Card | 1 |
| Mana Potion (Large) | 1 |
| Mana Potion (Small) | 2 |
| Marker | 8 |
| Medical Marijuana Card | 1 |
| Metrosexual Hair Gel | 1 |
| Microchip | 20 |
| Mr. Twig | 1 |
| Mysterion Picture | 1 |
| NASCAR Members Club ID | 1 |
| Needle Sharp Fang | 12 |
| No. 2 Pencil | 9 |
| Okama Gamesphere | 4 |
| Old Baseball Glove | 21 |
| Old Sponge | 22 |
| Packet of Sea People | 2 |
| Penis Composite Sketch | 1 |
| Phil Collins' Oscar | 1 |
| Phillip Action Figure | 20 |
| Picture of Wendy | 1 |
| Pile of Splinters | 19 |
| Pinewood Derby Car | 1 |
| Popcorn Necklaces | 1 |
| Power Potion | 10 |
| Power Potion (Large) | 7 |
| Pubes | 11 |
| Purity Ring | 1 |
| Purple Passion | 1 |
| Raisins Girl Picture | 1 |
| Randy's DUI Record | 1 |
| Rectal Photography Kit | 4 |
| Revive Potion | 5 |
| Roll of Tin Foil | 1 |
| Rusty Pipe | 14 |
| S'mores Schnapps | 3 |
| Safety Scissors | 6 |
| Sarcastaball Trophy | 1 |
| School Book | 3 |
| Screwdriver | 7 |
| Sea-Man Action Figure | 1 |
| Shake Weight | 1 |
| Shattered Arrow | 30 |
| Shattered Scimitar Blade | 3 |
| Shit Nugget | 5 |
| Shredded Plastic | 34 |
| Small Locket | 1 |
| Small Paw | 1 |
| Soap on a Rope | 2 |
| Space Cash | 12 |
| Sparky's Leash | 1 |
| Speed Potion | 10 |
| Spoiled City Sushi | 1 |
| Spoiled Clamato Juice | 1 |
| Spoon | 7 |
| Squished Eyeball | 3 |
| STANground Scause | 1 |
| Strength Potion | 10 |
| Striped Straw | 27 |
| Stupid Spoiled Whore Doll | 1 |
| Sunbrella | 6 |
| Sunshine Sparkle Stickers | 2 |
| Super Phun Thyme Tickets | 1 |
| Tap Shoes | 1 |
| Terrance Action Figure | 19 |
| The Mexican Staring Frog | 1 |
| The Milkman | 1 |
| The Poop that Took a Pee | 15 |
| The Sword of a Thousand Truths | 1 |
| Toilet Paper | 1 |
| Torn Bed Sheet | 2 |
| Torn Cloak Fragment | 20 |
| Torn Condom | 1 |
| Toy Car | 36 |
| Toy Horse | 2 |
| Toy Truck | 23 |
| Tuft of Fur | 6 |
| Turd Sandwich Ballot | 2 |
| TV Award | 5 |
| Urinal Deuce | 1 |
| USB Drive | 13 |
| Used Firework | 7 |
| Used Jaggon | 7 |
| Used Syringe | 10 |
| Video Game | 6 |
| Wad of Web | 2 |
| Water Balloon | 6 |
| Well-Shined Boots | 6 |
| White Trash In Trouble VHS | 1 |
| Wild Wacky Action Bike | 2 |
| Wing CD | 1 |
| Equipment |
| Alien Gloves |
| Alien Helmet |
| Alien Probe |
| Alien Suit |
| Assassin Gloves |
| Assassin Mask |
| Assassin Robes |
| Axe of Stopping |
| Bar Darts |
| Basketball |
| Bling |
| Billy Club of Smiting |
| Bow of Sucking |
| Broken Bottle |
| Club of Smiting |
| Clyde's Helmet |
| Crossbow of Impalement |
| Crutch of Weakness |
| Dodgeball |
| Druid Crown |
| Druid Gloves |
| Druid Robes |
| Du Rag |
| Elven Ranger Armor |
| Elven Ranger Cap |
| Elven Ranger Gloves |
| Elvish Shortbow |
| Fatbeard's Blade |
| Fighter's Armor |
| Fighter's Gauntlets of Defense |
| Fighter's Helm of Insight |
| Fire Sword |
| Friar Cap |
| Friar Gloves |
| Friar Robes |
| Gas Mask |
| Goth Cap |
| Goth Clothes |
| Goth Gloves |
| Halberd of the Warrior |
| Holy Defender Gloves |
| Holy Defender Helmet |
| Holy Defender Robes |
| Jester's Cap |
| Jewish Staff |
| Kenny's Bloody Club |
| Khan Armor |
| Khan Gauntlets |
| Khan Helm |
| KKK Armor |
| KKK Gloves |
| KKK Helmet |
| Kris Dagger |
| Lightning Wand |
| Mace of Restoration |
| Magic Wand |
| Miniture Gong |
| Missile of Slowing |
| Necromancer Robes |
| Noob Hammer |
| Piece of Poo |
| Rawhide Whip |
| Rogue's Dagger |
| Rosary |
| Sickle Sword of the Faithful |
| Slashing Blade of the Ranger |
| Sorcerer Gloves |
| Sorcerer Hood |
| Sorcerer Robes |
| Squire Gloves |
| Squire Helmet |
| Staff of Winter |
| Sweaty Headband |
| Training Gloves |
| Warrior's Axe |
| Warrior's Blade |
| Warrior's Longsword |
| Warrior's Scimitar |
| Wife Beater |
| Wire Frame Glasses |
| Wood Elf Cap |
| Wood Elf Gloves |
| Wooden Crossbow |
| Patches, Strap-Ons |
| Action Hero Badge |
| Alien Defense Matrix |
| Alien Energy Crystal |
| Animal Testicle |
| Arrow Patch |
| Axe Patch |
| Battery Label |
| Bow and Arrow Patch |
| Boxing Badge |
| Bubblegum Wrapper |
| Buckyball Magnets |
| Candy Bar Wrapper |
| Chef's Skewer |
| Crossed Sword Patch |
| Cult Pamphlet |
| Daywalker Patch |
| Dead Bird |
| Elvish Loyalty Patch |
| Exoskeleton Patch |
| Fingerless Glove Patch |
| Flame Patch |
| Flaming Sword Patch |
| Glass Shard |
| Iron Crossguard |
| Iron Hilt |
| Large Shield Sticker |
| Lightning Sticker |
| Lit Match |
| Mace Patch |
| Moldy Patch |
| Page of Unfinished Homework |
| Plastic Vampire Teeth |
| Quiver Patch |
| Red Cross Badge |
| Rock Candy Wrapper |
| Shard of a Beer Bottle |
| Shattered Anal Probe |
| Shit-stained Badge |
| Skull Sticker |
| Small Butane Torch |
| Small Magnet |
| Small Shield Sticker |
| Snowball Patch |
| South Park Cows Patch |
| Sparkly Heart Sticker |
| Studded Dog Collar |
| Suit of Armor Patch |
| Sword and Shield Patch |
| Sword Patch |
| Tesla Coil |
| Thorny Patch |
| Toothpick |
| Tuft of Ginger Pubic Hair |
| Valkyrie Patch |
| Weightlifting Patch |
| Wooden Crossguard |
| Wooden Hilt |
| Zippo Lighter |
| Zombie Flesh |
| Flair |
| 3D Glasses |
| 50's Glasses |
| 0's Shades |
| 80's Action Hero Wig |
| 80's Action Shades |
| Acne |
| Anchor Beard |
| Bad Irene Wig |
| Bags |
| Bald Cap |
| Bandage and Cut |
| Bandit Facepaint |
| Bangs |
| Barbarian Wig |
| Bartenders 'stache |
| Batframe Glasses |
| Batstache |
| Beardstache |
| Beatnik Mustache |
| Bird's Nest |
| Black Eye |
| Black Eyeliner |
| Blunt Wig |
| Bob Wig |
| Bun Wig |
| Butters' Squirrel Nose |
| Buzz Cut |
| Cartman Comb-over |
| Celtic Battle Paint |
| Chinballs |
| Claw Marks |
| Clover Facepaint |
| Coffin Glasses |
| Disheveled Wig |
| Damien Wig |
| Double Chin |
| Emo Wig |
| Evil Cartman Goatee |
| Eye Black |
| Flat Top Wig |
| Generic Glasses |
| Generic Sunglasses |
| Genghis Khan |
| Ginger Bowltop |
| Ginger Fro |
| Glee Wig |
| Goth Skull Makeup |
| Grandpa Vampire Wig |
| Halfling Wig |
| Healer's Patch |
| Ice Cube |
| Klingon Beard |
| Kyle's Muttonchops |
| Long Hair Wig |
| Major Mustache |
| Messy Facepaint |
| Mongorian Beard |
| Monk's Tonsure |
| Monocle |
| Mud |
| Pan Flautist |
| Pentagram Tattoo |
| Pigtails Wig |
| Rapper Beard |
| Retro Glam Makeup |
| Round Rim Glasses |
| Round Rim Shades |
| Rosy Cheeks |
| Shadow |
| Sidelocks |
| Side Show Wig |
| Slicked-back Wig |
| Skull Facepaint |
| Small Shield Stickr |
| Sporty Glasses |
| Stan's Mudbeard |
| Star Facepaint |
| Surfer Wig |
| Teardrop Tattoo |
| Thick Rim Glasses |
| Thief Wig |
| Timmy Wig |
| Token Wig |
| Untidy Wig |
| Wings Facepaint |
| Wizard Beard |
| Zombie Flesh |
| Chinpokomon |
| Action Hero Badge |
| Beetlebot |
| Brocorri |
| Chu-Chu Nezumi |
| Donkeytron |
| Ferasnarf |
| Flowerpotamus |
| Furrycat |
| Gerbitoad |
| Gunrilla |
| Lambtron |
| Monkay |
| Pengin |
| Poodlesaurus |
| Rabbitech |
| Roidrat |
| Roo-stor |
| Sna-kat |
| Stegmata |
| Velocirapster |